D-OHHHHH! Heres Homer Simpsons Resume!

D-OHHHHH Heres Homer Simpsons ResumeD-OHHHHH Heres Homer Simpsons ResumeD-OHHHHH Heres Homer Simpsons ResumeHes never met a donut he didnt like, and some of us have never seen an episode of The Simpsons that we didnt like either. So, I put together a resume for Homer Simpson, that lovable cartoon buffoon whos been known to snooze away the hours on the job at the nuclear power plant and find his way in and out of a few jams in other short-lived jobs.The information in this 100% fake resume comes from several sources plot summaries from the web, suggestions from readers of a recent blog post that introduced the Homer resume project, suggestions from the staff, and my personal recollections (of which there are quite a few).Here it is. Click on it to see a larger version.

Filmmaker Ryan Coogler and a Lesson on Pursuing Goals

Filmmaker Ryan Coogler and a Lesson on Pursuing Goals Filmmaker Ryan Coogler and a Lesson on Pursuing Goals The director of the film is 27-year-old Ryan Coogler. After reading Cooglers story and how he came to make the film, I was extremely inspired and wanted to point out a few takeaways from his career path that we all can use when pursuing our own goalsInitially Coogler wanted to play football and become a doctor. While on a football scholarship at Saint Marys College in Moraga, Calif., he had to take a creative writing class. After writing about a very rolleal experience that almost led to his fathers death, his prof asked to speak with him. She asked Coogler about his life plans, to which he responded, Play ball, become a doctor and be a positive influence in my community. His prof said, I think you should become a screenwriter. You can reach more people.Although he initially thought she was crazy, Coogler decided to take screenwriting classes, knowing that he truly enjoyed wr iting stories. By the time he graduated, Coogler had fallen in love with filmmaking.Takeaway 1 Encouragement is powerful, so take heed to advice.I dont mean encourage in the sense of making one feel better but every person needs someone who encourages him/her to pursue his/her goals. Oftentimes, others see gifts and talents in us that we can overlook. Dont disregard the encouragement and advice of others (especially those skilled and trained in a certain area) when it comes to our career paths.Coogler had plans to play football and become a doctor. Where would he be now if 1) that professor hadnt realized the gift he possessed and helped make him aware of it and 2) if he wouldnt have taken her advice and pursued film? Sure, we all like to create set plans and goals, but be open to change- especially if along the way you discover an area youre truly passionate about. Dont disregard advice just because it doesnt fit into your set plans.After applying to the Sundance Labs (yet not bein g accepted) the institute reached out to Coogler and asked him to apply again if he had something new. The next time he applied with Fruitvale Station. The filmmaker said attending the five-day workshop was a great experience as he met with writers from various backgrounds, working on a variety of projects who all supported one another. Coogler and the group were able to share ideas and insights. He even said the institute continued supporting his filmmaking efforts after the workshop by providing him with a grant to get his own apartment, funding for editors and connections to be able to shoot the film in his desired location.Takeaway 2 Networking and support are vital to success.During his time at the workshop, Coogler was able to meet other writers and make connections that continue to benefit him to this day. When pursuing your goals, you must network and make as many connections in your field as possible because you never know if that one person you come in contact with could b e the person to help catapult you into your career goals.Support is also necessary. Attaining our goals takes hard work and diligence, but lets face it, we cannot do everything on our own. Not everyone has the funding to start that business they desire, or the name and credentials to get the head person to look at your project/idea. Eventually we will need support from others, and this support can help us go a long way.In January 2011, Oscar winning actor Forest Whitaker was looking for fresh, young talent to ratgeber for his production company, Significant Productions. After watching one of Cooglers earlier short films, Whitaker decided to meet him. And after hearing about Cooglers Fruitvale script, he actor immediately signed on to produce the film.Takeaway 3 Get a mentor.Mentors are everything. In the pursuit of our goals, we need people guiding and helping us who have already taken that road to success. Mentors can offer advice, constructive criticism, accountability and support . Again, we cannot do everything on our own nor do we know everything. A mentor is a great way to gain insight into the field youre trying to enter and to learn what does and does not work when pursuing your goals.

Healthy workaholics exist, study finds

Healthy workaholics exist, study findsHealthy workaholics exist, study findsTurns out, you can work till you drop, and your body wont suffer - as long as you love what you do.A new study in the Academy of Management Discoveries wanted to test how unhealthy it is to be a workaholic. What they found upends the conventional wisdom that working excessively is automatically bad for your mental wellbeing.Researchers recruited 763 employees at a consulting firm to take a questionnaire on their work habits and then undergo a medical health screening. To determine whether or not they were workaholics, participants were asked how many hours they worked a week and to rate how much statements like I feel guilty when I am not working on something resonated.Study Happy, healthy workaholics existThe researchers found no link between working long hours and major health risk factors likeobesity, high blood pressure, and high levels of blood cholesterol.This doesnt mean that being a workaholic will g ive you a clean bill of health. The researchers found that a compulsive work mentality would make you mora predisposed to stress-related physical symptoms like headaches.The main difference between the happy, healthy workaholics and the unhealthy, stressed workaholics in the study was whether or not the employees said they were engaged at work.Workaholics who reported above-average engagement with statements like I am enthusiastic about my job showed no signs of serious health risks. Employees who felt like they were wasting their every waking hour on a task they didnt care about were more likely to have heart disease or diabetes risks.Work hard, be healthyThe study shows that if you work long hours, you can still live a healthy life if you are dedicated, enthusiastic, and absorbed in the work you do.Theres a big difference between workers whose propensity to overwork and inability to relax after hours stem from absorption in the challenges their job presentsand those for whom it re flects, say, anxiety about the job or obsessive ambition, the studys author Lieke L. ten Brummelhuis said.So if you love your job, go ahead and stay late at work finishing up your passion project. If youre just going through the motions, however, working overtime can have serious consequences for your health.Whether or not you take pride in your workaholic lifestyle, dont be a work martyr, leave the office - the benefits of frequent breaks and vacations are well-researched.

How to Sell Your Album on Consignment

How to Sell Your Album on Consignment How to Sell Your Album on Consignment Selling your new release in your local record store is a great way to get some sales from among your local fans, but it isnt always clear how to sell your album on consignment. Before you step up to the record store counter, here is what you need to know about placing your new release in a record store or CD resale shop, and how to let people know they can buy your music there. Do Your Research The local branch of your friendly neighborhood big chain store isnt likely to be the best place to try to sell your music. They almost certainly dont accept consignment product. Your time is valuable, so before you start making calls in person, make some calls by phone or contact them online.   Find out which local record stores in your area accept consignment product, and of those stores, find out how many copies they accept and if they have any special policies youll need to know before you show up with your stuff. Come Prepared When you did your research, you should have found out how many copies the record stores on your list will accept. Remember that you dont have to leave the maximum number theyll take. You cant exceed it, but within their margins, bring as many of your CDs/vinyl as you like. You dont just need the product, though. Heres what you should know and what you should bring when you go to the store: Your  One-Sheet:  Your one-sheet will give the store employees some info about your music so they can talk about it to customers.Promo Posters: If the store will let you put up posters promoting your release, bring a few by so your fans will know they can buy your music there.Price: How much do you want to get for your music? Each store will have its own markup rules, so go in knowing how much you want to get from each sale, so you can work out the sticker price with the store.?Promos:  Have a few promo copies to give the staff for in-store play. Receipt: The store may have a formal contract that they ask you to sign regarding your consignment. If they do, make sure you get a copy. Be ready with some receipts of your own just in case. The receipt doesnt have to fancy or especially formal, you just need a written record of how many copies youre leaving with the store and how much you will be getting for each sale. It should be signed by yourself and a store representative. Make sure the receipt has your contact info so the store can call you if they need to. Have the Conversation When you go into the record store, ask to speak with someone who takes in the consignment product. This may be the store manager, or it might be the case that anyone in the store can do it. Discuss the basics of your consignment deal, such as the stores markup, how many copies youre leaving and if there are any rules for the details of collecting payment. This is the info youll put on your receipt. Last but not least, give the staff a brief description of your music and hand over the promos. Have a few extras to hand out to staff members- it always helps to have fans on the staff of a record or consignment store. Hand over your posters and offer to hang them up yourself; they may not let you, but thats the best way to make sure they actually get put up. Follow-Up This is the most important part of putting your music on consignment in a record store: the follow-up. You would be shocked if you knew how many people dropped music off in a record store and then never returned. You should follow-up, and do so often so you can: To make sure your product is out and appropriately pricedTo make sure your posters are displayed (if store rules allow)To see if youve made any sales, both so you can collect your money and so you can replenish stock as needed Frequent follow-ups also help you build a relationship with the record store staff. These people are on the front lines of music and are excellent sources of information. Get them invested in telling their customers about your music  and soak up their advice about getting people to know your music. They see people discover new stuff every day, and they often have a hand in helping them do it. Tips for Working with a Consignment Music Store Be Nice:  We cant promise you that every record store employee is going to give your music the reception it necessarily deserves, but the bottom line is, youve got to follow their store rules and policies. If you can do it with a smile, youre a step ahead, and youve made it that much more likely your product is going to get out on  the floor fast. Heck, your promo might even get a spin in-store!Be Responsive:  If someone at a record store tells you they need another poster, more product, that your price is way out of whack compared to other local products, or offers other feedback and advice, listen to them. They deal with customers every day and know what works in their store. Stock Up for Shows:  Before you play a local show, make sure your consignment stock is replenished at all the record stores. You never know when someone is going to skip buying your music at your merch table but regret it the next day and swing by the record store looking for it.Let Your Fans Know:  After your consignment deal is set, update your website to reflect where your fans can buy the CDs, and announce it on Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Survey Majority of managers see year-end bonuses growing in 2017

Survey Majority of managers see year-end bonuses growing in 2017 Survey Majority of managers see year-end bonuses growing in 2017 Recent research  found that if you’re not a standout worker, you most likely won’t score a big raise or bonus at your job next year, even though there’s been an increase in job growth.  Other research has found that most American employees didn’t get a raise this year, even though some in the high-income bracket were the most likely to have a larger paycheck.Still, some have people have high financial hopes for 2017:  A survey  of more than 300 senior-level managers employed in the U.S., conducted by staffing firm Robert Half, found that 42% of managers surveyed think the bonuses they’ll be giving out will be “somewhat higher” this year compared to last year, and 9% think they’ll be “much higher.” Taken together, 51% of managers believe they’ll be seeing better numbers this year. The survey also found that 39% of managers think the bonuses will be the same as last year, 7% said “somewhat lower,” and 3% said “much lower.”An outside research firm carried o ut the survey, and the managers were employed at companies with at least 20 workers.How companies come up with bonusesA separate survey by Robert Half explored the main methods employers use to come up with bonuses.The most popular way was “individual and company performance,” at 27%. “Individual performance only” was at 16%.  The least popular was “company performance only,” at 8%.Paul McDonald, senior executive director at Robert Half, commented on the findings in a statement.“Bonuses are a key recruiting and retention tool, especially with the intense competition for top performers… If budgets are tight, other ways to recognize exceptional work at the end of the year include gift cards, a department celebration or additional time off for the holidays,” he said.

9 things smart people do to fix work mistakes

9 things smart people do to fix work mistakes 9 things smart people do to fix work mistakes It happens to the best of us: No matter how much you plan or prepare, there are times when you just spectacularly mess up a pitch, proposal or gasp, even an interview.The first order of business: don’t panic. Nothing is permanent, not even screwups. Things can shift and people can move on, but it takes some effort to read the room to understand how to guide that along.So how do you know if it’s time to save your reputation or if you’re better off beating a hasty retreat?1. Sit tight and plan to deal with it  The worst possible thing you can do at the worst possible moment is leave in a huff or cloud of embarrassment. Try to calm down and continue or regain your train of thought, or at the very least excuse yourself before leaving the room. Take measured steps and ask if you can continue the discussion later, or tomorrow. You will not be at your best logic in the midst of a fight-or-flight response.  2. Assess the situationFirst, take stock of the potential professional carnage. Did you really mess up as badly as you think you did? Ask a trusted colleague or mentor to walk through the situation again- it might not be as bad as you think. If it turns out not to be entirely awful, follow up the next day.3. Add the personal touch  When possible, try to reschedule another meeting. Pick up the phone so you can immediately smooth over any potential awkwardness, or send a polite but conversational email or DM suggesting you meet again to clarify some issues. Be friendly. Be genuinely humble if you did goof in some way, but explain in no uncertain terms that while you might have messed up a point or two, overall you can fix whatever needs repairing. And then leave it at that. Fussing too much will further erode your counterpart’s confidence that you can do what you promised. And it probably goes without saying, but if you promise to fix something, you should do just that.4. Learn from your mistakesOkay. You goofed. Who doesn’t? Hopefully, it isn’t a regular thing. Once you realize that you messed up, it’s time to ‘fess up as well, says Steven Grant, VP of Operations for  Energy Solutions Direct. “Owning your mistake is the best way to ‘heal’ a situation,”Instead of running flat-out to try to correct everyone else’s perceptions, instead step back and consider what you could do better next time, especially when it comes to a failed pitch or business deal.   “While it is of course important to try and ‘save’ the deal, it is typically much more important for you to understand WHY the pitch went so poorly and learn from these mistakes, says Grant. “A bad pitch is one thing, a life-time of bad pitches is quite another.” 5. Give it timePay attention to the cues given by the person or corporation you’ve wronged, because even in professional settings, people heal at different rates. “Oftentimes, it is better to try and salvage immediately, however, sometimes it is best to let yourself and other party(ies) step back f rom the situation and revisit,” Grant says. And in case you’re wondering how long you have to apologize or rectify a situation, unless there was a specific deadline, there really is no time limit on apology and “sometimes it takes a relatively, significant amount of time to repair a relationship” says Grant. 6. Take the high roadEven if  you have no hope of ever working with someone - even your bossâ€" again, you should probably apologize and in person if possible. Grant says “You should always do what is right, regardless of what you THINK the future holds.   However, if you have already apologized  twice, this should be enough and “over-apologizing”  can simply annoy the person.” 7. Use a wingman or wingwomanDespite what they’ve always said, you know that your parents probably did have a favorite. If you’ve managed to irk your boss but still know that your pitch has great merit, consider backing away and asking a trusted colleague or project partner to plead your case or at least re-pitch. Include your name and contact information on the pitch or deck, but make it clear that you’ve learned your lesson. In this way, your ideas and creativity will still take center stage, even if you spent the early part of the project with your foot planted firmly in your mouth. 8. Put yourself in their shoes and think of the big pictureAnd if you’re on the receiving end of the goof of the century, try to remember what it’s like to be on the other side of the equation. “If someone messes up a pitch yet I know has a willingness to learn, I will coach him on what he did right, what he did wrong, let him take a day to regroup and try it again,” Grant says.9. Let it goooooNo matter how sincere your apology or clever your repair plan is, there are going to be people who choose to rebuff your efforts or completely lose faith in you. Sometimes the best business move is to realize that you can’t change their minds and just move on graciously.

How to Network at Work (Carefully) - The Muse

How to Network at Work (Carefully) - The Muse How to Network at Work (Carefully) You’ve enjoyed your job. And you’re really darn good at it. But you’re starting to feel the itch. It may not be a full-blown burn (yet), but you’re wondering what it might be like to go do something else- in another department, city, or entirely different organization. And you know people who might be supremely helpful. There’s just one small problem: You work with them. They’re a client, or a business partner, or a company your team works closely with. Or, they’re sitting just a table or office away and you have your eye on making an internal transfer. Basically, the people best-equipped to help you explore your next career opportunity are kind of (or, completely) the last people who can know that you’re thinking about making a change. If this is your challenge, fear not- you can still make progress without jeopardizing your job. You just need to proceed with care and a good strategy. Here are five tips that will help guide you in how to network at work: 1. Volunteer for Special Projects Are there opportunities available at your company to volunteer for stretch assignments, special projects, or cross-functional committees? If you have designs on shifting to another group within your current organization, raise your hand for any and all of these assignments. By working on something with a new set of people, you’ll not only have the chance to learn about other departments and network with co-workers on those teams, you’ll gain exposure well beyond your current scope that may help in padding your resume, should you decide to make the switch. Be sure to capitalize on that exposure, too. Ask your teammates questions about what they’re working on, the challenges they face, the skills they’ve built, the people they’ve worked with, or the best parts of their jobs. You can certainly show interest and gain some helpful knowledge or connections without appearing suspicious- after all, you’re just making small talk!- and these types of projects provide a great opportunity to do so. 2. Knock Their Socks Off Maybe you’re sitting there thinking, “Hmmmm…my top customer sure would be a great point person if I’m thinking about shifting into [field/company].” Before I go further, I’ll say flat-out that this is one of those moments when you should proceed with extreme caution. You don’t want to screw up a customer relationship and your current employment by overstepping your boundaries. If you’re feeling like a client or colleague could be a great person to network with, make sure you’re consistently knocking it out of the park and excelling at the work you do for them. Show that person what a valuable and irreplaceable asset you are, day in and day out. Folks who see how great you are at your job will be that much more inclined to hire you or recommend you to someone else in the future. Also, express interest in that person’s work, their goals, and their life outside the office (just don’t get too personal). People love it when they feel valued and noticed, and they’ll often be more than willing to return the goodwill if you’ve been an ally and someone who has helped make their job easier. 3. Make it a Long Game If you’re not pants-on-fire dying to make a move, view this as a long-game versus a rush. Focus on building relationships and trust with the people you think (or know) may be beneficial to your career path. There’s plenty of truth to the saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” But the real benefit of networking goes beyond simply knowing someone. It’s also about how they feel about you and your capabilities, your personality, and your work ethic. So, say you’re working at your company’s Chicago office and hoping to transfer to the Seattle location within the next year or so. Now would be the time to get to know your counterparts in Seattle. Certainly, you don’t want to be disingenuous about it (people can smell that a mile away), but if your job gives you plausible reason to communicate with, demonstrate your talents to, and win over those colleagues, start the process well before your itch becomes an inferno. When the time comes for you to apply for that transfer, you’ll feel confident your co-workers are eager to have you hop on board their team- and will advocate willingly for you. 4. Keep a Lid on Complaining No matter who you’re trying to connect with, resist the temptation to say anything negative about your current job. Nothing turns off a key client not only from doing business with you, but also from being your career guide like badmouthing your current company- even if it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your specific role, team, or manager. The same goes for current colleagues, whether they’re down the hall or across the country. Focus your energies on expanding your network and expertise and maintaining a positive professional image instead. 5. Don’t Count on People to Keep the Secret This is an important final thought: As close as you might feel to your colleagues and clients, you can’t always count on them not to spread the word if you divulge that you’re kind of sort of looking for something new. It’s not that they’re purposefully trying to ruin your plans- it’s just that sometimes people really like feeling “in the know” when in water cooler (or happy hour) conversations, and as a result tend to spill the beans. If you’re not flat-out ready for others (a.k.a, your boss) to know you’re sniffing around, it’s probably best to keep your ideas or intentions on the down-low. Again, do some positioning. Ask curious questions. Get exposure beyond your current department, office location, or company. As highlighted above, you can do all these things without revealing your true motives- networking is ultimately about more than just saying “help me find a job”. Just don’t count on anyone but your besties to keep a lid on it. There’s nothing wrong with networking on the job as long as you’re keeping on top of your tasks, being genuine, and continuing to show loyalty and respect for your current employer. By having a strong work ethic and eagerness to learn, you’ll immediately attract the right kind of attention from the right kinds of people who can set you on a path to success.